Hi Beauties! For today’s post I thought it would be cool to do a #throwbackthursday to one of the most magical (and kinda stressful) times of my life; my wedding! I feel like if you have ever been in a wedding, planned a wedding, or are in the midst of planning a wedding, you will understand where I am coming from.
It is definitely a special time in life but it can also be stressful. Especially if you have this fantasy idea (like I did) that everything needs to be perfect. I’m here to tell you that whether it is on the wedding day or the days leading up to it, something will go wrong and that’s ok. I also want to mention that these are things I learned and experienced so obviously, your experience may be or has been different, and again that’s ok. I am merely here to offer up some nostalgia, friendly advice if you are currently planning a wedding, and some encouragement that we have all been where you have been and if it isn’t perfect, thats A-Okay because it can still be magical.
1. Have a Budget Cushion:
Whenever anyone asks me for wedding advice, the number one thing I tell them is to make sure they have a wedding budget cushion; that is, an extra $500-$2,000 just in case. Honestly when you are planning a wedding your mind is always on the big things (venue, catering, dress, etc.) that you can space out the little added costs coming up. The month of our wedding we were making it rain left and right, not because we wanted to but because when you are down to the wire and you need something for the ceremony or the Groom’s suit, you are willing to buy whatever just to make sure you have it. Thankfully we had factored in that cushion to our budget and were ok.
Not to mention, if your family says they are going to help with the wedding costs it’s a good idea to still have that cushion in case it falls through. “Andrea my family is very reliable!” I know…however I had a friend a couple years back that said the exact same thing and they weren’t able to get their party favors because her family member couldn’t come through with the financial help. Hopefully you won’t need it, but if you do, you got it.
2. Friends over Family:
“Say what?!” I know, I know, the title makes it seem bad but let me explain. When it comes to selecting your bridal party remember to pick people that will have your back no matter what and have your best interest in mind. Do not pick family just because they are family. Being the maid of honor, the best man or just being part of the bridal party, is a lot of work. You need to constantly be thinking about someone other than yourself and you may be asked to participate and do things for the bride and groom.
For my wedding obviously my Maid of Honor was my sister, I had 2 friends as Bridesmaids and then Erick’s (Le Hub’s) sister. We were never close but I thought “She’s Erick’s sister, she has to be a bridesmaid.” But again, I don’t advise this notion. She didn’t attend our events, she made no effort to converse with the other girls and a month before the wedding, Erick and I ended up dropping her as a bridesmaid. Tres harsh? Maybe, but if neither person really wants to be part of it, sometimes it’s best to part ways. I am not saying that she is a bad person but we were never close and we are just too different so why did I expect her to be close with me all of a sudden? That is what I am getting at. Sometimes the people that care for you the most or you are closer with end up being friends and not family. And I am here to tell you that is ok. Don’t let people tell you who to pick for something so special to you.
3. Don’t Be Afraid to Break Tradition:
When you are planning a wedding you will most likely hear ‘tradition’ at least once in every conversation. Although Erick and I incorporated a lot of traditions in our wedding, there were some traditions we didn’t do. Regardless of what people or family said, WE, the married couple decided not to have it for whatever reason and I don’t regret that decision at all.
A big thing we skipped was the rehearsal dinner. At first glance it sounds crazy but here’s why we did it. The Wednesday before our wedding we invited our close family and bridal party for a barbeque so they could break the ice and we went through the timeline and game plan. We had also planned a post wedding brunch the Sunday after where we cut our cake and got to really speak with family we didn’t really tend to the day prior. Because we had 2 separate occasions in which we engaged family that we already planned, we had the church set up the Friday before the wedding and it would’ve been an added cost, we decided to skip the rehearsal dinner. I feel like when it’s explained like that people go “Oh okay. I get it.” Which should serve as a reminder to you that whether people agree or not, if you two as the couple want to break or create traditions for YOUR wedding, you totally should.
4. Don’t Waste Time on Giving Extra Information:
Don’t waste your time on information insets or creating a wedding website or Facebook page. Why? People won’t read it and you will still be bombarded with questions. Y’all would not believe how slick I thought I was with my wedding invitation inserts. I thought “Hey! If I include an insert that has directions from the North and South Suburbs, where to park near the venue, and where we are registered, people will surely read it, it will avoid confusion, and we won’t get bombarded with questions.” WRONG!
Truth is people are lazy and won’t read anything additional other than the invite. Or even if they do read it, people will forget and instead of looking back at it, or figuring it out themselves they will call you to get an answer. Erick and I handmade all our invitations and so we spent a TON of time making sure those inserts matched the main invite and cutting them just right. Same with our wedding website and facebook page and on our wedding day someone called like “The parking ramp doesn’t take cards only cash” like “Okay…what do you want me…the Bride to do about it?” Wasted effort so save yourself the stress and time.
5. Do You
Remember to “Do you boo!” I’m not saying be a complete A—hole to everyone, but at the end of the day it’s your wedding. So the only people who need to be ok with anything has to be you two. The Bride and Groom. Whether it is breaking tradition, kicking someone out of your bridal party, or whether the Bride and Groom decide to elope, the only 2 people that should matter are you two. After going through my wedding I kinda (kinda) justify some of the things that go down in Bridezilla. When you have spent so much time giving everyone information and people are just too lazy to google the directions, yeah it’s kind of stressful and you may lose your marbles. I know I did. My family and friends all joke about it with me now but I always tell them I stick to my decisions. Good, bad, whatever. In the moment I was only concerned with what Erick wanted and I wanted and you should be too. This is YOUR wedding, so do you!
Kinda got a little worked up there beauties, sorry about that, but have you every been in a wedding? Planned one? Do you agree or disagree? I’d love to know.
*This is not a sponsored post. I own these images.1